it's over. move to somnia.

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Yipe!

It was rush hour at In 'N Out. J & I had just finished an ambitious rock climbing session and were tired but pleased with ourselves. We sat down by the window to stare out at the parking lot and recharge. I got up to refill my lemonade. Navigating through the crowded eating area, my body turning one way and my attention another, I inadvertently flung a few drops at another patron. (The cup had been empty, but not dry.) He glowered at me as I offered a feeble "sorry" and--by way of explanation--pantomimed accidentally flicking my wrist while managing to enunciate nothing more than "splish." He said nothing. Embarrassed, I continued on to the soda fountain.

Coming back, I saw his eyes still trained on me. "Did you do that on purpose?" he growled, seemingly ready to jump up out of his seat. A woman sitting at another table behind him assured him that I had not, while dabbing at his neck with her napkin. I mustered another "sorry," grateful for her intercession, surprised he hadn't taken care of it himself, and incredulous at his accusation. He continued to stare at me as I returned to my seat, facing away.

As I silently ate my burger, I fully expected 16 ounces of soda to bombard me from behind; I was oddly unrelieved when it never materialized.


I get frazzled easily by unexpected confrontation. I (like most people) don't like causing conflict and I tend to wonder how much is truly my fault when I get pulled into it. With this guy, however, I figure he must have already been upset about something. One doesn't just get so angry about such little things, right? ...Or maybe one can, but what does that say about a person's emotional life? Has he been shat upon all his life and been unable to relate calmly to the slightest challenge? Or is he just a bastard, rage running unchecked? What did he do afterward--did he calm down immediately, dissociative-style? Did he cool down later, on his buddy's advice? Did he hold onto that anger at someone else's expense and misfortune? What happens to the person who (unlike me) chooses not to go into deferential mode in order to defuse the situation? How often do our unnoticed interactions with others turn into unpleasant interactions for others down the line? Is this what we mean by "the human condition"? ...And why am I so entranced by this silly thing when I'm taking off in 15 hours to hit D.C. and decide the course of my life for the next two years and beyond?
peachy as always, Mike at 12:43 AM