it's over. move to somnia.

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The Text of the Mass Email I Sent to Everyone I Visited on My Trip Once I Got Home

Hello!

If you're receiving this message, it means that I got a chance to visit you on my epic road trip. I had a great time and it was wonderful to see all of you. Thanks for (putting me up/taking me out to eat/distracting me from the grad-apps process/submitting a little something for my mysterious and sinister audiofiles).

If you're on the cc list, I hoped to see you, but it didn't work out. That sucks. I'm sorry we didn't get to meet. Perhaps I'll see you soon. That would be nice.

Regardless, I'm home now. Many of you asked me to let you know when I got home. Well, I got back about a week ago, but I've been busy since then with not-traveling and I think we all know how time-consuming that can be. But here I am. Safe and sound.

Mike

That's all I had to say of any substance. The rest of this isn't required reading, but it's cutesy and some people like that. (It may also seem a little like an egregious rip-off of the Harper's Index, but you'll notice there is frequently text AFTER the colon. Whoa!)

days: 37

miles: 10,000

money spent on gas: $600-700

people visited: ~45

interviews recorded: ~40

nights of free lodging: 22

meals purchased for me: country-style, brunch-style, cafeteria-style, Italian, steak (2), Indian (2), Thai (3), home-cooked (4)

freakiest regional dietary quirk: Minnesotans prepare burritos with white rice

natural wonders visited: Lake Tahoe, Niagara Falls, the Rappahannock, the Houston freeway system, Big Bend Park

songs karaoked (in descending order of successfulness): Neil Diamond, "Sweet Caroline"; Pink, "Get This Party Started"*; Suede, "Beautiful Ones"

car troubles and source of said troubles: sliding off interstate (ice), spinning on interstate (more ice), unexpected swerving (steering mechanism), horrifying shudders (loose trackbar), towed** (draconian Cambridge street-cleaning regulations), naive perception that a tire MUST be flat because something is really not right (road quality in certain regions not to be mentioned)

cities visited that I could see myself moving to: Minneapolis, Madison, Toronto, Boston, Philadelphia, Washington, Austin

cities that almost made the cut: Ann Arbor, New York, Richmond (yes, really), San Antonio

most and least time in one state: Texas (6.5 days), Indiana (42 minutes)

books read: T. Coraghessan Boyle, The Tortilla Curtain; Alain de Botton, How Proust Can Change Your Life

books-on-CD listened to: David Sedaris, Naked; Bill Bryson, I'm a Stranger Here Myself***; Edgar Allen Poe, Greatest Hits; F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby; Jonathan Franzen, How to Be Alone (essays)

encounters with Border Patrol or INS: 5

times I was told "I haven't seen you since Gran Kitty died...five years ago!": 4

times hearing "I'm Terry Gross, and this...is Fresh Air!": innumerable

grad schools visited: Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Syracuse, Harvard, Tufts, Princeton, Columbia, Johns Hopkins, Georgetown, Duke

grad school rejected immediately and grounds for rejection: Wisconsin (Prerequisites: coursework in comparative politics, statistics, 12 additional credits from econ, business, or poli sci...), Syracuse ("It's an excellect department located within a mediocre university in a depressing city."), Harvard (international relations and international development are not the same thing), Columbia ("Students can expect to accumulate an average of $80,000 in debt." "I see. And what makes Columbia so special?" "We're in New York.")

lucky timing: the Twin Cities (home of the nation's only four-party system) on Election Night, Toronto on Remembrance Day (Canada's Veterans Day--I stumbled across a parade of servicemembers going down a small side street in the rain), Boston during a three-day stretch of not being pummeled by severe weather, upper Manhattan at the tail end of street cleaning (= free street parking!), Washington during the Art-o-Matic festival, the McDonald Observatory (in west Texas) at the beginning of their twice-weekly Star Party, Phoenix just before rush hour, and of course getting to see so many of you on such short notice.

overall assessment of trip: damn good



* the party was actually ending at this point.

** "...and I had to WALK TWO MILES in the RAIN just to PAY FIFTY-FIVE DOLLARS to get it BACK."

*** I urge you to send money to the Please, Mr. Bryson, Let Someone Else Read Your Books Aloud Because Hearing Your Voice For Six Hours Has Done Irreparable Harm to My Central Nervous System Foundation

peachy as always, Mike at 4:04 AM