it's over. move to somnia.

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Touchy-Feely

OK, so last night I went to this open house thingy at the Acupressure Institute in Berkeley, 'cuz I been thinkin' about maybe getting myself massage-practitioner certified (for kicks) and a couple of weeks back I treated myself to a massage in Modesto and the masseuse mentioned that she'd studied at AI and thought it was great and I'm a sucker for a personal recommendation so I figured hey, an open house requires no commitment and offers a fat load of information and I could really go for that now. So I went.

I'd mentioned to John that I was thinking of going and he'd said he'd heard less-than-enthusiastic reviews. Whatever, I said to myself.

So I showed up a half-hour late as it was just getting started (mmm, Berkeley) and, apart from the staff guy at the front of the room, there were about a dozen people seated on chairs and futonny items around the room, explaining why they were interested in studying massage/acupressure. Apparently they all already had a much deeper acquaintance with the field than I did, but hey: I'm a dilettante and I make no bones about it.

The staff guy introduced himself (in an unnervingly high-pitched voice, not unlike one a comedian would use to portray a five-year-old speaking) as Michael Gach.

Oh, Dear God. His name rhymes with mine. Not good.

I thought I was interested over the next hour. I brushed off his tendency to overexplain where on the brochure certain information was. ("In the leftmost column, in the bordered box, at about the middle, just under the crease, under the heading 'Basic Classes,' that's where the basic classes are!") So what if he didn't give us credit for being adults (and adults with college degrees, no less, based on the introductions)? He wouldn't be doing all the teaching. There was a variety of options. Everything seemed doable. Prices were affordable.

However, I think about the time he said that he'd felt "so blessed that Common Ground [a free magazine/catalog featuring 'resources for personal transformation' in the Bay Area] chose to make its listings alphabetical 20 years ago, so we were featured prominently and gained a lot of attention that way" that my interest was starting to wane. Maybe it was his Muppety voice driving me over the edge. Adult men don't sound that way. Maybe it was just all wrong.

Then, of course, he moved on to the principles of acupressure and my eyes began to glaze over with all the talk of "meridians" and "elements"--"for example, if someone's neck is perpetually stiff, that person has a wood imbalance"--and...OK, so I hadn't stopped to think about what acupressure entailed as far as beliefs and worldview were concerned. I thought I'd be able to just focus on the act of helping people relax. Nope, no dice. Lesson learned. Sure, I could use an infusion of some sort into my spiritual life right now, I'll admit it, but for the record I just can't with a straight face talk about "transferring energy" from one person to another.

I politely (OK, speedily) excused myself at the "break" and was off (thankfully, I was not alone in my thoughts, as the expression on a fellow exiter betrayed). But dammit, they have my phone number. Gach.
peachy as always, Mike at 1:46 PM