it's over. move to somnia.

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ABC-TV and I

So I was cleaning my room last night, and turned on the TV for a little auditory distraction. Hey, look! It's Spin City! I used to love it, years ago. I loved Carter Heywood, the vanguard for desirable black gay characters on TV (now joined by Keith the Insuperable on Six Feet Under and Aneesa the Just-Being-Herself on The Real World).

I'm watching the opening credits, which have clearly changed since last I watched, and...There's Charlie Sheen and Heather Locklear! There's what's-his-name who plays Paul! The guy who plays Carter! The guy who plays Stewart! And Barry Bostwick (recently of "I'm Barry Bostwick!" "Who's Barry Bostwick?" fame)!

But wait. I distinctly remember at some point there being THREE other women on the cast. Visions of Heather Locklear billy-clubbing them and eating their hearts dance through my head...and then the insipid plot begins. Whatever.

All that matters is that toward the end of the show (as I'm hanging up my pants), the Heather/Caitlyn character is leaving the Charlie/Charlie character a fake message about her fake fantasy about some guy coming up to her to start speaking to her in Italian. Some guy standing five feet away comes up to her (hey! it's Heather Locklear!) and says "Hola, señorita." She gives him a disgusted look (granted, he's no Charlie Sheen, but Charlie's not my ideal drink--and this guy isn't pulling anything lecherous) and says "That was Spanish!" while turning to walk away.

OK, OK, OK, hold up there a second. Ha ha. Spanish is measurably sexier that Italian. There's just no contest. I've been studying Italian off and on for the past few months and while it definitely sounds like a better language for telling jokes in, that just doesn't count as sexy.

That's all for now...


Coming soon: my birthday! Amber's birthday! John's birthday! (which is today! hey, how about that!) Bridget Schwartz: comedic genius! and the Faux Queen Contest, where women stop being women and start being men...dressed as women! (I'll explain when I get to it)
peachy as always, Mike at 4:59 PM